For decades, Valerie Bertinelli was America’s girl next door, a sitcom star with seemingly effortless warmth.
However, behind the laughter and longevity was a private battle she never planned to share.
Now, at 65, she is speaking publicly for the first time about a childhood trauma that shaped her life and her healing journey.
Valerie Bertinelli Says She Never Planned To Go This Far
Valerie Bertinelli did not set out to write a confessional. In fact, she insists the revelation at the heart of her new book was never part of the blueprint.
“I had no plans to reveal this,” Bertinelli told PEOPLE. “This was going to be a book about teaching people how to love themselves. I did not know that I would go this far.”
Yet as she worked on "Getting Naked," set for release on March 10 by Harper Wave, the story she had carried for 54 years demanded space.
For the first time, she is revealing that she was sexually abused at 11 years old.
“I guess because I'm healing from it, it’s not so scary anymore,” Bertinelli shared. “I can say it out loud. I was sexually assaulted. It doesn't feel like it owns me anymore.”
The admission marks a profound turning point for the actress, who built her career on relatability and resilience but kept this chapter tightly sealed.
Valerie Bertinelli Gets Naked With The Raw Truth
Bertinelli describes her memoir as an exercise in radical honesty.
“It’s about getting naked with who I am, emotionally, physically,” she said. “It was really about getting to the nitty gritty and getting to the parts that I thought were shameful and come to find out they’re not. They're all kinds of different facets of what makes us who we are.”
To introduce the chapter detailing her abuse, she made a deliberate choice.
She “purposely” included a photo of herself at 11 years old “because that was the little girl that was sexually abused,” she said. “And it boggles my mind that this little girl was taken advantage of that way. It boggles my mind because it’s still happening ... and I’m furious about it. And we need to start speaking up and saying, ‘Enough.’”
For Bertinelli, the image is not about shock value but about honoring the child she once was and confronting the anger that replaced shame.
Her decision reframes her narrative from one of secrecy to one of advocacy.
Valerie Bertinelli On Healing And Hard Truths
The journey to that moment was neither quick nor easy. “It's taken me 10 years at least," she explained of her decision to come forward.
Bertinelli added, "The very first time I said it out loud to my therapist, I thought I’m going to feel better now. It got worse before it got better. I maybe ate a little bit more, drank a little bit more. When you stop eating things for comfort, stop drinking alcohol, it exposes your feelings. You can deal with them or not. And I chose to deal with them. I don't feel shame about it anymore. I’m pissed off that it happened. Nobody deserves that.”
Her words reflect a truth many survivors recognize: healing is rarely linear.
For Bertinelli, confronting trauma meant stripping away coping mechanisms and sitting with emotions she had long avoided.
That reckoning intensified in 2024, a year she describes as especially difficult.
“I had a huge anxiety attack at the end of 2024 that brought me to my knees,” she revealed. ”And I thought I’m not getting anywhere. I needed to do more work.”
What followed was a deeper excavation of long-held insecurities, particularly around her body.
Facing Body Shame And The Roots Of Self-Loathing
For years, Valerie Bertinelli publicly wrestled with weight fluctuations and body image scrutiny.
Now she connects those struggles to something far more profound.
“All of that shame had nothing to do with my body,” she shared. “It was just something to take out my shame on. My poor body. I was so mean to it. I just needed to get all those voices out of my head. As I was going through that, I’m thinking people are going to wonder, why do I have so much self-loathing? That’s not normal. It’s because trauma happened in my childhood for the most part. I can’t speak for anybody else but it’s pretty textbook.”
Asked to remember who she was before the trauma, she said softly, “I loved to color, read, play with my Barbies, and ride my bike around the block. I loved my cats. I was just a little girl.”
The simplicity of that memory stands in stark contrast to the weight she carried afterward.
Looking back today, she offers a quiet declaration, noting, "I'm a survivor."
Finding Light Through Family, Friendship And Community
Even amid painful reflection, Valerie Bertinelli’s story does not end in darkness.
Fans have followed her since she was 15 on "One Day at a Time," through "Hot in Cleveland" alongside her late friend Betty White, and more recently as part of the Drew Crew on "The Drew Barrymore Show."
She calls her work with Drew Barrymore “an oasis,” crediting the show as a source of comfort and renewal.
Beyond the studio, she leans on the love of her son, Wolfgang Van Halen, and finds another kind of therapy in the kitchen.
Her new digital platform, "Valerie’s Place," reflects that desire for connection. She said, “I want to build a community where everybody is welcome. It's a place where people can come in to my kitchen and cook with me because I've missed that a lot."
After 54 years of silence, Bertinelli’s voice is steady. The shame is gone, replaced by anger, clarity, and purpose.
What remains is not just the story of what happened to her, but the strength it took to finally say it out loud.
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